This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
