so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize