So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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