I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
