if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
