They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Text me some of your sweat
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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