You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
