Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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