I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
