I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
