U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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