I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
