I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
