GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
