last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
