you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
