oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
