I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
