I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
