you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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