No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
My feet surprised me
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
