Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
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