I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize