Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
