he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
whose ass print is on the piano?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
