Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
