Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
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This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
