You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
only you would photoshop your dick
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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