tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Is Oprah even human
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize