Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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