dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
