If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
