his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
