My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
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