After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
