Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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