i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
