therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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