Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
