Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Do vagina's smell?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
