what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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