i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
