at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
