We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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