Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
