Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
