matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
its not stalking. its research.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
