you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We have so much sex to catch up on
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
