so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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