I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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