That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
