I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
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