Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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