I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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