Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Congratulations! We have a period
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
