I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
