I wanna bring you to show and tell
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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