no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm at about main and main street
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
