Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
