i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
birth control should be required to get into college
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
