Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
