please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
