It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
