maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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