I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
